Weird Books (4/2019)

I’m blacking out, I’m buying weird books.
I’m floating on pools, I’m giving weird looks.

I’m stacking up pounds, I’m shrinking like dreams.
I’m tumbling inside, though balanced I seem.

Tried to book a room, I couldn’t even tie my shoe.
I lost my muzzle, spewing crazy blues.
In it.
Always out of it,
never getting out of it.

Shoulda thrown my head to the ground.
Nervous system shutdown.
A call really brought it back around.
I read, to me, the wrong thing for over a year.

In. Out. In. Out. Out. Out.
I read a different story.

I’m staring at me, I’m losing my head.
I’m dwelling on things I should have said.

I’m doing weird things, I’m getting weird looks.
I’m sending good gifts, I’m giving weird books.

Now that I think I’m out now,
I’ll never recall the last two years now.
There’s life in here I gotta get out now.
I was running red lights.

Blue when it’s bright, green with the night.
I see it in my eyes,
they’re changing again.
I was starting to think that that was the end.