Realize I didn’t mean to stop?
Realize that wasn’t what I wanted?
I lost my person, lost myself,
I was feeling overwhelmed
and sometimes life takes time.
I can do it all. I can’t do it all.
Coloring words, sounds in my soul, it’s art.
I was at the end. I was at the start.
Who else would do all of this?
Pen letters to strangers in old cities everyday.
Sitting here is wasting away.
Give me a guy and give me a marker
so I can color it all.
Fill this hole, I’ll be leaving it.
This all feels like working.
Find a solid foundation and I’ll leave.
Stay outside the lines,
I know what this music looks like.
This stuff lives and breathes inside me.
How are there two sides of me?
Which half of me is really free?
Please, please, please explain to me,
So I can fill me in.
Money she’s out on the bike today.
I know she’s driving me wild.
I am just a spectator, but she can go for miles.
Money I’m back in the van today.
She knows I’m not always right.
I am just a spectator and she delivers smiles.
Walk on the night with old cake friends.
Driving, no seats and white hotel beds.
Black smoke rising on video.
Beat up, bleeding, but gold. I’m moving.
It’s beating, I’m going with nothing,
but the meat on my bones.
I’ve been gone for miles
Empty in my ears for days
She just drives me wild.
Smart, not often wrong. I’m not always right,
but she knows me.
Soaring song. I was watching the moon
hide in the air as it came on,
and I thought of the days
when it was just wood wheels out there.
Carved, then, fresh trails.
Stare at the sun, see no shadows.
Have little fun, lose no battles.
Easy, easy on the horse,
one day this will matter.
Stand alone. I’m just leaning on the wind.
So involved and so worn thin.
I remember the days
when we were all just trying to catch fresh air.
It all matters
Have nothing and happy.
Easy things will come and go,
but they’ll never really matter.
What if I said there’s no ego?
If I said it’s only pride.
What if you knew what I’ve been through?
Would you run away and hide?
What if I said I’m just nervous?
If I said that and I’m shy.
What if you thought I was judging?
Your mind can tell you big lies.
No better or judgement,
Just nervous, thinking or thrilled.
I know where I’ve been.
I deserve a win.
But, until then,
I’ll keep trying to figure out
How I know how this all works.
It’ll take me 30 years
To tell you where the last 30 years took me.
I’ve still got so much time.
What if you said I’m a lost cause?
If you told them I was done.
What if they weren’t really finished
When they all said they had won?
What if you said I’m a bad guy?
If you said I didn’t care.
What if I came down from heaven,
To make people like you scared?
Every single person walking by
Has their own crazy, different, life.
Do you ever realize you have no idea?
Why don’t they stop to talk about it?
Wide awake on the third story,
He sits while Howard sings about his time.
A creature stews in a pot on an elephant
On the third story and it’s only Saturday.
A gift from the ocean on his birthday.
The old tale of a mermaid trying to find her way.
He’s watching it from the third story.
Through all the water, lost in space confusion,
Her words were somehow heard.
The only one who ever found the way
Inside his fortress inside, middle of the day.
She revealed his life.
Revealed to him his light,
While she was underwater.
Buried in the sand, but hanging on.
All his thoughts are in the songs
That he hears while he’s sitting outside.
Inside his mind are the songs he took in as a child,
That were all written about today.
Somehow, written about today.
She says, ‘Wait patiently.
In time, with life, I’ll find my feet.
We’ll get away, walk the beach,
We’ll sing old songs and we’ll be free.’
We haven’t begun,
We can’t be undone.
The third story on a Saturday
With still so much left to say
And so much left to do.
But, Howard’s still singing.
Craft sandcastles with the desert.
Flip it on its head.
Come on, flip the desert and then send me to bed.
Drafts, old hassles, and it’s winter.
Dripping up instead.
Come on drop your winter, then send me to bed.
Get down, flip the desert.
Get down, sent to bed.
Up there where I’m pacing.
Up there in my head.
Threw it out, all on the line, it was up in the air.
So, Saturday’s scrambling on a sidewalk somewhere.
Casting futures to the ocean.
Drip it on my head.
Come on, drip the ocean on your way to bed.
Catching questions in slow motion,
Dropping them instead.
Come on, natural motion, tuck me into bed.
Get down, natural motion.
Get down in my head.
Up there where I’m reeling,
Up there in my bed.
He’s not afraid, he’s just had a long day.
At times, he feels he knows he’s losing it.
He’s not losing it, but it’s not next to him.
Reuses shedded skin. Worn thin,
His mind’s in a million places.
Sleeplessness sleeps in the lines on his face
And New York won’t stop writing letters.
The strings in the ears she gave him were singing.
Just come down, bring a mountain.
Come down, bring a smile.
Hey. Come down, bring a memory.
Come down for more than a while.
For more than a while, he wrote.
He’s still awake, because he had a long day.
Last night, the time he wrote he’s tired of it.
He’s not tired of it, but it scrambles him.
Knees bruised and shredded fins, he swims
Through time instead of leaving traces.
Restlessness wrecks all these moments and grace
And Tucson won’t stop calling today.
His anchor, she’s away. Way out on a mountain.
She built the hammer she builds her home with,
She swims in the sea.
He built his life with the life he’d been building.
He walks tired, but free.
Days awake, anchor’s far away.
Funny how a memory can
Ring you up and walk right in
And change your day.