If I’m still alive, I’ll live forever.
I’ve seen things they’ll never see,
things that must be make believe.
I’ve been you, not liking me and so I changed.
Apologies for the rain.

If I get my legs back, I’ll go running.
Twisted my head on to see what’s coming.
Honestly, feel I will fly.

Oh, I see a pretty little light down there
and I pray it’s not another train.
When I get my legs back, tell me no more pain.

Swinging inside, wishing I was walking.
The more you get, the more you can lose.
It seems right now that I can’t move.
Wishing I was walking.
Writing isn’t talking.

If I’m still alive, I’ll live forever.
I’ve been places no one knows,
places where there is no home.
I’ve been you, coming unsewn and so I changed.
Apologies for the rain.

Wishing I was walking.
I see a pretty little light down there.
Maybe just walking my way.
Apologies for the rain.

Lady, you promised me
that you’d sound both before I leave.
Left me walking in circles.

Left’s not right. We learn that at the beginning.
‘She did one twice
and two lefts don’t make a right. Right?’
Now the doctor’s seeing double.
I’m walking into more months of trouble.
Don’t often complain, but what were you doing?
There were like five of you. Someone get a clue,
lose your horse, or listen.

PhDs hang up on me.
PhDs, they just cleave me.
They went to school for so many years,
they’re too smart to believe me.

He said, ‘they’re only helping.’
I said, ‘they’ve got me thinking
and I think they’re making me crazy.’
Enough with too much thinking.
Believe me.

I am not that crazy.
I am not insane.
I just listened to your advice
and then I lost my brain.
I am fine, just trust my gut,
the littlest bit was way too much.

PhDs can’t perceive me.
PhDs just unweave me.
They went to school for so many years,
that they’re too smart to believe me.

And,
lady, You promised me
that you’d sound both before I leave.
You left me walking in circles.

He swore everything was leaving.
He was crawling in a shell on the beach
with everything still within reach.

He wrote ‘float the day’.
Sat on his hands so he wouldn’t say
he still had only love.

He said he should go away.
Paced in his shell so he wouldn’t say
how much he really missed it.

People said, ‘he’s fine.’
like they could read his mind.
He couldn’t write out his mind.
Nobody could right his mind.
He was tired and he tried not to hide,
but he wandered within him, lost somewhere.
Dying to be outside.

He spoke crazy truth.
Sang don’t let silence get the best of you.
Gotta speak from your heart.
Those things aren’t the rest of you.
The way you dance through life is art.
He prays for a day when this can really start.
You’ve got the biggest palette.

He recalls backyards, best friends.
A friends friend, his friend, talking
about zombies on Klonopin. She said
they crawled hidden inside shells of themselves.
Those words, like a mirror for him.
Shook, fell and cracked.
Those words walked into a mirror.

Like it never happened, but everything was gone.
Didn’t know how it all happened,
only knew why it went wrong.

Piece of reflection, scattered in sand.

He felt calm tonight.
Sat on his hands so he would speak and
never have to write it out.

Quiet time tonight.
Sat on his hands with too much to say, but
he got himself all figured out.

Wrote ‘light’s back on, mind is fine.
When I get my legs, I’ll outrun time.’

I had a best friend.
His knuckles read ‘snug life’.
He lived three lifetimes hopping trains
and marrying ex-wives.

I had a best friend.
Robot painted on his side.
His brilliance brought home happiness,
told me, ‘Man, don’t ever hide.’

Maybe just to celebrate or
a little prick to steal some pain.
Ever since the day I called,
well, I ain’t been the same.
Can’t say I’ve been the same.

Preaching ‘it’s just part of life’,
I know they would never trade me.
Couldn’t make it up, but it makes me.
Wouldn’t make it if we traded.
Sometimes nothing really seems that fair
and
sometimes I feel I don’t breathe the same air.

Well, I had a best friend.
Poured his soul out for three dimes.
He said, ‘we can do anything.’
and he lived that all the time.

Yeah. I had a best friend,
too smart for his own mind.
I rang him up to yell happy birthday
about four hours after he died.

Preaching ‘it’s just part of life.’
Tiny little prick to steal away some pain.
Ever since the day I called,
well, I ain’t been the same.
Can’t say I’ve been the same.

Stars circle around us
‘til they run out of space.
Hit walls before ground,
and set sail at a steadier pace.

Tell me I’m not getting any younger,
or a lot more that I’ve never known.
Tell me I’m a fool to always wonder,
or something else I’ve never been told.

Tell me that I don’t know what I’m doing,
or anything that never crossed my mind.
Tell me that I’m crazy for not snoozing,
or something else that wastes my time.

Stars hurdle the ground
until they fall on their face.
Burn out, then come down
and stumble in with familiar grace.

Discover it all as we go.
Everything I learned today,
was a few things that my radio played.
Stars come down and find their place.

Turning dials for a while,
seeking more than static.
My mind’s on a star and I can’t get any signal.
Like there’s a heart up in my attic.
We’re never far from where we could be going.
Watching the FM spin again.
Two stars timelapse down a dirt road.
Seeking more than static.

Flip through, skipping clippings of my thoughts
like an old magazine,
Skipped through, flipping clippings as I thought,
‘I mean, yeah. That’s a thing.
Yeah, that’s still a thing.’
Is it still thinking if I know it?

What if we sometimes slowed down to breathe?
When did I get so removed from me?
What if we never lowered our sails?
When did I find my way way off the rails?

How’d I, while crawling, climb my way back?
Why did I fall so far off this track?
How’d we rewind to fighting ourselves?
How’d we calm angels living in hell?

I’ll still always answer.

They see you differently than I do.
I didn’t find me just for you.
We’re so different
in exactly the same ways.
Don’t they know what we say to ourselves?

While we’re talking about this,
can we talk about something else?
Silence hangs in a frame above a top shelf.
I don’t care when.
Meet me at Sky Harbor or up around the bend,
when it all feels like trying to get back
to a place that you’ve never been.

the sand between my toes understands
the notion that tides will come and go.
I know shallow water leads to somewhere
someone’s already been.

salt drapes my eyes.
it all feels so different.
gotta get way out there to leave my feet.
if I’m meant to leave my feet.
gotta get way out there.

tipping, whimsical waves
tell tales of lives, time and crashing.
I know shallow water leads to something
everybody’s seen.

good right here, shut my eyes,
I must be facing the sky, I’m floating.
ripples in the sand felt my fingers
and my eye shadows aren’t leaving –
now I’m up thinking.
watching waves crash in my world.
from here I can see that we’ll weather this storm.
tides, like time and distance,
have my heart thirsty for a little bit more.

ask plenty of questions
and I’ll understand the ocean.
give answers time.
I stood on the sand and stared at the sky.